Essent-Elle Movies

Written By Elle Voss

For those that like to watch

Not necessarily The Best™️ movies, though some of them are up there. Movies that I watch over and over, that I watched as a teenager, as a kid, that I watched and found a little bit of myself in, movies to go down a rabbit hole about, that will make you laugh, that will smooth your brain over when needed. The categories aren’t mutually exclusive and if I was much cleverer than I am I would make some kind of ungodly franken-Venn diagram to plot them all. But alas, I am just a simple gal who likes a good flick. Innuendo intended.

*indicates movies/series to be prioritised, because they are legitimately VERY GOOD and objectively important. I said what I said.

Categories: 

  • Horror

  • Food

  • Comfort

  • I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying

  • I’m Not Horny, You’re Horny

  • Nostalgia

  • Unclassified

Bonus Categories:

  • They Could Film a Brick Wall and I’d Give Them a Cannes 15 Minute Standing Ovation

  • Serial Killers (But Not the Ones You Expect)

  • It’s CHRIIIIIISTMAS[redacted for unseasonable/newsletter subscriber privilege reasons]*

And, because I truly believe one of the best parts of seeing a movie is discussing it with other people, you’ll also see something I’m coining ‘TheLetterboxd Line’; for each film I’ve hand-selected one or two Letterboxd reviews that particularly tickled me and that I hope might tickle you. Don’t say I don’t treat you [also redacted for newsletter subscriber privilege reasons. Sorry!]

Happy watching…

AUTHOR’S NOTE

I started this list as a bit of fun and then very swiftly started taking it too seriously (story of my life, ask anyone who has spent more than two seconds with me), agonising over every choice, adding films here and there, new categories, caveats, explanations. It got a bit out of hand. It still sort of is, but I’m hoping you’ll indulge me. In return, I’ve limited myself to three films per category, and hope you’ll stick with me to the end.

Horror

A self-explanatory category, but one of the most difficult to distil down to a handful of favourites. I’d argue this category has the most overlap with the other categories, but particularly ‘I’m Not Horny, You’re Horny’ and ‘Comfort’. And if that doesn’t persuade you of my perverted disposition, I don’t know what will.

*Titane (2021)

Just the poster for you, folks, you need to go into this one with as little visual bias as possible.

  • "The most fucked-up movie ever made... or the sweetest movie ever made."- Indiewire; I agree wholeheartedly. 

  • A soundtrack for the ages; listening to it without the movie is brilliantly baffling

  • Crash (1996)’s hotter, younger, cooler, weirder sister.

  • I cried and also danced along with ‘the pink scene’.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

When it comes to viral movie PR, these guys and Cannibal Holocaust walked so Longlegs (appropriately) could run.

  • OG found footage; dated but in a good way? 

  • Hardwired my brain for horror movies after watching it at a Halloween party at a friend's house in the woods, then breaking down in the middle of the night on the way home from said party. Distinctly suboptimal, albeit distinctly memorable. 

  • Proof that less is more when it comes to movie monsters (unless you’re Del Toro, more on that later though); the scariest things are those which are unknown.

*Cam (2018)   

Me looking at my own X timeline in the post-Grok era. 

  • The appropriation of the image, realities and experiences of sex workers by the media is so commonplace at this point that it is boring at best, and offensive/damaging at worst. So when a nuanced and respectful story featuring (in this case, centering on) a sex worker comes around it lights me up.

  • Also just a very very good horror movie; scary, satisfying, well-executed.

  • Based on Mazzei’s own experience as a cam girl.

  • Touches on esoteric fears about living a double life, particularly online.

  • Visually beautiful and transportative to a specifically unspecific place/time (would be a great double bill with It Follows (2014) for this reason.)

Food

Another self-explanatory category. See above about being a simple gal. Actually, I take it back. These films, apart from being visually mouthwatering, remind us that food is so rarely just about sustenance. You don’t need to be an insufferable foodie to enjoy these movies, but you just might end up one if you do.

Pig (2021)

Above is what you get if you google ‘pig movie’. Please do not conflate these two films. You will be very confused.

  • Yet another example of the Nick Cage beating the ‘bad actor’ allegations. 

  • An absolute ride of a film with some deep allegory and startling depth.

  • Alex Wolff works hard so his jaw can slack (compliment; see also Hereditary (2018); see also movies that say they’re about one thing but are also kind of really about generational trauma).

  • Can someone make me that mushroom tart, please.

*The Taste of Things (2023)

A whole songbird drowned in Armagnac isn’t the only thing I like to eat with my head covered by linens to hide my sins from God, if you know what I mean.

  • The whole film is a work of art, every single frame, I’m not kidding.

  • Quiet, beautiful, joyful, heartbreaking.

  • Validates my opinion that showy French haute cuisine is kind of bad, actually. 

  • We just don’t throw dinner parties like we used to, huh.

  • Subtitles are excellent for preventing second-screen drift.

  • Would make an excellent double bill with Babette’s Feast (1987).

*Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011)

  • Japan is one of my true happy places, somewhere I’d return to again and again and never get tired of, nor experience something of profound beauty and meaning. I was lucky enough to experience an omakase in the original (and anxiety-inducingly difficult to locate) restaurant in Ginza station back in 2023. Unsurprisingly, Jiro was not there, but his legacy was palpable. Or should that be palatable?

  • You’ll learn that sushi is all about balance, and making something incredibly difficult to achieve seem like effortless and simple perfection; this documentary does the same thing. Nuanced character studies, lessons in niche technique, deep labour theology and personal value discussions, climate and social change are woven together with a seamless backdrop of sentimentality and quiet humour. Not an easy feat, but utterly easy to consume.

  • If you’re into ‘day in the life’ content, you’ll be into this; very comforting, and just thought-provoking enough to linger with you.

Comfort

I’d bet that everyone has these films. You’ve probably watched them multiple times; turning to a film that you’re only vaguely familiar with for comfort is a certified indicator of psychopathy and suggests to me that you’ve never actually required comfort once in your life. I watch these films when I’m sad, or sick, or hungover (no points for guessing which is the more frequent occurrence) and I just don’t have the brain capacity to delve into Mubi’s deep catalogue of esoteric Bosnian cinematography. They are warm and unchallenging but with enough substance to distract you from whatever may be ailing you. You wouldn’t be upset if you fell asleep on the sofa an hour in, and you wouldn’t be adverse to just starting them over if a similarly hungover housemate shuffled in wrapped in a duvet with 10 minutes until the end.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Real fans, name that exemplary vegetable!

  • An absolute phenomenon; I’m convinced it’s the genesis of the term ‘the girlies that know, know’ because anyone who feels MOST ARDENTLY about this film will be able to identify another at the mention of a handful of specific moments or scenes.

  • Kiera Knightly at her quivery-chinned best.

  • The costumes, the lighting, the stately homes, the walking through the mist, the parties, the yearning, the yearning of it all.

  • Genuinely gorgeously lit, encompasses all the most evocative *vibes* from pastoral life, sisterhood, revelry and people just being their endearing insufferable selves and doing life together in their dumb courtly way *chef’s kiss*.

  • A masterclass in non-threatening romantic tension.

  • Other movies with similar energy that’ll do in a pinch: Far From the Madding Crowd (2015), Marie Antoinette (2003), Mr Malcolm’s List (2022), Persuasion (2022).

Pacific Rim (2013)

Mana Ashida, the child actress from the film’s flashback sequences, had trouble pronouncing GDT’s name, so he gave her special dispensation to call him “Totoro-san” and if that isn’t the most heartwarming thing you read today I’m very jealous of your life.

  • More on Del Toro later, but this is just a really really fun film.

  • Complete brilliant escapism, a sprawling technicolour action/sci-fi film that isn’t trying to guilt trip you into thinking too much about how it might relate to the deeper problems of the real world (though you totally could if you wanted to; I’m looking at you, climate change).

  • I’m a sucker for a physical fight scene between two people who are kind of rivals and definitely blatantly hot for each other and oh boy does this film deliver.

  • Del Toro is just so good at monsters.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)

“Once you were ve-gone, but now you will be-gone” is a line that my vegan family members LOVE to hear from me every two seconds.

  • So silly, so cute, and with a weirdly stacked cast that absolutely shouldn’t work but really does.

  • I’ve never been to Canada (a travesty) but this film makes me yearn for it in a bafflingly nostalgic way.

  • This will be a comfort film for anyone who spent an amount of time on Tumblr in their teen years; fast-paced and quippy enough to keep you and your decreased attention span happily engaged. 

  • Perfectly encapsulates the melodrama of teen love/crushes, especially if you were a bit of a daydreamy loser as a kid (don’t look at me).

I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying

Listen, I’m not a big crier (it’s ‘god loves a TRIER’ people, so just TRY harder and bottle up your emotions like the rest of us, sheesh. Just kidding, please express yourself in a healthy way) but sometimes you just need to watch something that will plunge you mercilessly into your feelings and hold you down there until you stop struggling and surrender to the sweet stillness of catharsis. I’m also far more likely to cry when overwhelmed with beauty or vast emotion and I think these films reflect that, but to each their own weeping material.

*Past Lives (2023)

Why didn’t they have a threesome, come on Celine.

  • Longing epitomised; woven with deep sweet melancholy concerning identity, culture, connection and all the possibilities therein.

  • Plath said “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. … I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” And Celine Song took that personally.

  • We simply love a big romance movie with appropriate nuance, but romantic nuance is also, sadly, often known as heartbreak. 

*Perfect Days (2023)

  • There’s some seriously interesting context to the making of this film which dovetails beautifully with its sentiment. I’m really sorry to anyone that I’ve insistently explained it to while going off on relentless tangents about Japan, public toilets and social good when they probably just wanted to have a nice drink and discuss the weather like a normal person.

  • This is a perfect little morsel of a Podcast which pairs impeccably with the film

  • Quietly and compassionately makes you yearn for simplicity while also being the most emotionally complex thing you’ll grapple with having watched for the rest of your life, probably. 

Short Term Twelve (2013)

  • I hate the phrase ‘indie gem’ in the same way that food people hate the phrase ‘local secret’ and horror fans hate the phrase ‘elevated horror’ but this movie really *is* an indie gem, guys!

  • A perfect cast with some big names back in their baby days and a gently lovely soundtrack.

  • Kooky without being saccharine and with a story that somehow pulls out all the ‘make ‘em weep’ tropes without feeling cheap.

  • Having said that, be patient with the cliches they roll out here. I promise they’re worth it.

I’m Not Horny, You’re Horny

I refuse to include Eyes Wide Shut in this for many reasons, but mostly because that ‘orgy’ looked like it had all the ambiance of a dry bowl of Weetabix and nobody questioned the fact that two women were, paradoxically, 69ing with masks on.

*The Handmaiden (2016)

Who’ve I gotta pay around here to arrange a full-scale actor x marionette production of my sexual fantasies?

  • Park Chan-wook is a perverted freak and I mean that as the highest of compliments. And if you don’t believe me, go watch… well, essentially anything else he’s directed but maybe start with Oldboy.

  • A reimagining of Sarah Water’s novel Fingersmith (aka be gay, do crime and, trust me, there’s a lot of both of those things in this film).

  • Heady mixture of intrigue, eroticism, deceit and coy embroilment in schemes which don’t exclude the viewer; keeps you as much as the characters on screen in a state of flux as to whether you’re in on the plan, or are being seduced and duped along with the other sorry folks thinking with their trouser brains.

  • Aesthetically lush, the visuals contribute enormously to a sensory backdrop against which we can surrender to the fact that, sometimes, mind games and some high stakes crime are just very very sexy.

Black Swan (2010)

  • A movie about a lot of things, but in large part I find this film incredibly erotic because of its extremes. The exploration of madness in the body. Lust, obsession, desire, repression, shame, control. Natalie Portman making out with Mila Kunis. But I digress.

  • No but really, I know that scene sold the film to a lot of mainstream audiences, but the erotic goes much deeper here, to the things Portman’s crashing-out ballerina Nina denies herself, the idea of the viscerality of our bodies and what they can bring us. The sex (and sex-adjacent) of this film all sort of merge into the body horror of it, and sex is kind of beautiful body horror if you get down to the nuts and bolts. It can be subversive and dark and cathartic and weird and fun, and actually ends up best if we try not to be perfect and control every little detail of it (see black swan/white swan allegory etc.).

  • I do maintain that Nina would’ve been way better off working a lot of this out in the kink scene but hey ho we all make our choices.

Secretary (2003)

Gotta be one of the most copied roleplay outfits out there, and for good reason. If anyone wants to adapt this scene but with an ankle spreader bar/alternative office-based administrative task, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

  • Based loosely on the Mary Gaitskill short story of the same name from ‘Bad Behaviour’.

  • Manages to be funny and cute and quite depraved all at once (this is your cue to tell me that it’s “just like you, then *wink*”).

  • At the same time, quite a nuanced and thoughtful portrayal of BDSM that balances titillation with humanity and leaves weird alienating voyeurism at the door. The door that A Number of Undisclosed Shades of Grey should really have paid more attention to.

Saltburn (2023)

IYKYK

  • The people who found Saltburn shocking and gross are people that I have zero interest in fucking.

  • Actually the ‘shock’ moments are the least sexy parts of this film; as set pieces, they drive some of the plot and provide kinky little red herrings to keep the audience guessing about our anti-hero(?)’s motivations but, and I hate to be the bearer of this phrase, the horniness is all in the vibes.

  • Louche, bored hotties in the English countryside, sideways glances and weird upper class rules and rituals and the feeling of a loose end in an endless summer is what I find arousing about this film. It’s why I will never stop banging on about how sexy a stately home or country manor is, why everyone gets all fired up about Chatterley and Bridgerton and every other person who’s breathlessly chased someone they fancy but are forbidden to fancy through a hedge maze at the edge of a glittering ballroom.

  • Except this film has extra helpings of fucked up acts and a really really good playlist for anyone with nostalgia for that specific era.

Nostalgia

For the most part, these are films that I watched before the age of 16. Whether it’s the soundtrack or the subject or the sense of place, there’s something intangible about each of these films linked to what I was going through in the delicious awkwardness of growing up. The bittersweet sigh of something in the past that you can look back at and not touch, but remains a part of you in some way.

Whip It (2009)

Yeah, uhhhh, the reason my knees are always bruised is because I've been kicking ass at the derby rink. No more questions at this time.

  • I experience a Pavlovian response to that very specific green/yellow colour combo.

  • Why yes, I will be taking roller skating lessons in the new year, thank you.

  • There’s so much here about female friendships which makes me reflect on how mine have weathered the years, and about being brave with your friends, and being brave about what’s important to you.

  • I too would like to make out in the public pool we’ve snuck into to Your Arms Around Me by Jens Lekman

*Spirited Away (2001)

Sorry I don’t have a pithy caption for this, I’m too earnest about it. Look at the neon lights in the windows, the attention to detail. I die.

  • Studio Ghibli films epitomise magic to me, none more so than Spirited Away.

  • We weren’t allowed to watch disney as kids (purely because my parents had no interest in watching them themselves, totally fair) and I discovered Ghibli independently as an older child/pre-teen, hence the nostalgia. It was the perfect age to watch this enchanted coming-of-age tale, and started a lifelong deep love for all the films in the studio’s catalogue.

  • I’m just a slut for whimsy with depth, incredible art, and folklore.

  • Despite having been to Japan multiple times, I have never been to the Ghibli museum, though not for lack of trying; it’s notoriously difficult to get tickets, and requires future-vision planning on another level, even for Japan’s standards.

  • The London stage productions are also a true delight, 100% go see them.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) / Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) / The Jungle Book (1967)

“Don’t worry, Vernon, I have a very firm grip”

  • The exception to the aforementioned ‘no disney rule’ because these latter two were the VHS tapes that my grandparents kept in their house to entertain us when we inevitably got sick of sitting at the dinner table on family visits

  • The Bare Necessities is an absolute banger.

  • Prisoner of Azkaban is just the best of the films, it’s ‘the Halloween one’, all autumnal and moody. I think I know all of Aunt Marge’s lines by heart, powerhouse of a comedy character.

*Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Not one of you has asked me ‘if I have a kiss for daddy’ yet and I’m not angry, just disappointed

  • A perfect film, no notes. I actually think this might be my favourite film of all time. I’ve put it in this category because I feel very nostalgic about Big Moments of Realisation, and this was one of the first times I really knew deep down that this was a thing I loved, that became a part of me, that I was sure about. A lot of things in this film shaped my world view. I come back to this film whenever things start to feel a bit too serious and I need to be reminded of this.

  • Everyone wants to be Ferris, most people are Cameron. And that’s ok.

  • Deceptively deep, while being riotously fun and just so silly.

Unclassified 

The ones that fit into too many categories to put them in an actual category. Look, I’m as confused as you are at this point.


*American Psycho (2000)

A Halloween costume I’m dying to recreate.

  • I am just as insufferable about the original American Psycho novel. I don’t own any first editions, and if I ever were to, this would be the one I would want. American Psycho is my Roman empire.

  • A close second favourite movie after Ferris Bueller’s Day Off which is very strange considering how diametrically opposite they are in terms of vibe. What can I say, I contain multitudes etc.

  • It’s a real thing of beauty, a true rarity, when a film/book adaptation couplet are both as good as each other and can be enjoyed completely independently or as more than the sum of their separate parts. The only other example I can think of right now is Fight Club which would be an excellent double feature with American Psycho if you’re the kind of person who likes to listen to sad music when they’re already sad to really intensify the experience.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)


This could be us but you aren’t a disgraced journalist trying to solve a 40 year old murder case on a remote nordic island.

  • There are the people who like the original 2009 Scandi version, and the people who like this one and this is one of the only instances where I do actually prefer the shinier remake.

  • Some pretty savage scenes, so make sure you’re trigger warned, but weirdly this is a film that brings me comfort in a ‘cozy crime’ sort of way. Don’t judge me, I just really like snow. And unconventional romances. And vengeance.

  • Speaking of, Mara and Craig have some of the hottest, cool people, emo chemistry on screen and I really am obsessed with the line ‘put your hand back in my shirt’.

  • One day I will read the book, but I think I’m just so overexposed from copies being present in every charity shop I’ve been in, ever, right next to a worryingly tattered copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

*Nymphomaniac: Volumes I & II (2013)

The real reason we all want to go on the Orient Express

  • It is unbelievable and hurtful to me that Willem Dafoe is literally in a film about nymphomania and doesn’t get his cock out once.

  • Intensely provocative; the trigger warning for the director's cut of this film makes the one for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo look flimsier than the contents of my underwear drawer. 

  • Volume I is undoubtedly stronger than Volume II; there’s much more lightness to balance the gravity and perversion, some great value laughs and clever casting. Volume II seems to come along to make you Get Serious and Face The Consequences of Your Actions which maybe gets a little heavy at times.

  • You all know I adore nuance, and this film really plays in the grey zones. There’s things that I think are truly just in bad taste and not ok, but mostly the ideas and concepts in the film are ripe for a good discussion session. 

  • Again, I think the casting is fantastic across the board. 

  • Prize for whoever can come up with the most amusing way to pronounce the alternative title Nymph()maniac Vol I and II.

They Could Film a Brick Wall and I’d Give Them a Cannes 15 Minute Standing Ovation

Just directors I really really like; ripe with potential for movie marathon projects.

Julia DeCourneou 

Guillermo del Toro

Emerald Fennel

Dave Eggers

Danny & Michael Philippou

Serial Killers

No, not those ones. I know this is a bit of a cheat, but a couple of TV series/mini-series because I couldn’t help it SORRY.

*Chernobyl (2019)

Eminently quotable- the other one my friends and I often hurl at each other is “what did you DO!?” 

  • I’m going to say it. The best TV series ever made. Ever.

  • An ‘unclassified’; it’s got sparkling hints of every genre and some of the best, most subtle pitch black humour ever written.

  • My subway take is that no film (on original cinematic release) should be longer than 90 minutes, and that almost all TV series would be better as a mini-series. This is a very strong argument in favour of the latter part of this take. Chernobyl is razor sharp. There is no filler, everything is placed perfectly, and placed for a reason. Spectacular casting. And if you’d like to discuss the former part of this subway take, you’ll have to buy me dinner first.

*Fleabag (2016)

  • Once again, a perfect series and the pride and joy of the Phoebe Waller Bridge supremacy society.

  • The reason everyone’s hot for priests, and why I can’t stop seeing foxes everywhere.

  • Just watch it.

  • Please just watch it.

The Mighty Boosh (2004)

I refuse to give any kind of context to this image. It’s what they would’ve wanted.

  • Just utter nonsense, but also altered my early teen brain chemistry.

  • Very niche humour that I’ll die for; if anyone independently quotes the Boosh to me, I will fall in love with them immediately and nobody wants that.

  • You know they were all having the best time making this show, and were also just on so many drugs.

  • The secret, third reason that I studied Zoology at uni is so that I could work at the Zooniverse.

  • If I could be married in a throuple to any two celebrities it would be Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt at their current ages please and thank you.

The Night Manager (2016)/ Killing Eve (2018)

  • Very horny and very stylish (that dress/perfume scene in S1 of Killing Eve, I melt).

  • Not too much content to catch up on, just enough to keep you committed.

  • I call this sub-category “sexpionage”.

  • Killing Eve is objectively the stronger series, contains better humour, tugs on more heartstrings, is by far and away more erotic. But I also love The Night Manager and it’s a great foil to KE, so deal with it.

If you made it this far, congratulations! You’ve officially retained an attention span capable of sitting down to watch one (1) feature length film! Take that, TikTok.

*sign up below for a redaction-less future of reading.

Elle Voss
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